In loving memory of Hanna Sue

The time of my "John the Baptist" metamorphosis drawing nigh. 

I can't share too much of what that means right now but I'm hoping that in the coming months, I will be living into it and will post here what that means for me.

For those who do know, the catalyst for this journey is a promise I made to my infant daughter last week just before she skipped into the heavenly realm. I will honor in all that I say and do from here on out. Grief work will be a big part of my transformation. Keep me in your prayers.

Not preserving, yet not walking away...

So I've been on quite a journey these past few years...

What I mean by that is that I've been on quite a spiritual journey. Over two years ago, I really began reconnecting with my spiritual roots as a Radical Pietist and Anabaptist. So much that the Spirit began convicting me of what it meant to reclaim those roots. I began a process of simplifying and minimizing many aspects of my life. This was a refashioning of my Old German Baptist Brethren roots and identity as I sought to reflect the plain dress as well as back to earth mentality of my daily living and theology. Think Amish with more earth tones and primitive clothing. Now don't let the exterior fool you, I'd be more than at home in a plain community, yet it's my being a mystic that keeps me from ever laying down my roots there.

Yet at the same time, my sense of spiritual grounded-ness felt as though it was losing some of its foot-holding. By that, I mean that I was increasingly becoming more put off by the institutional aspect of the church and I noticed I became increasingly more comfortable to sleep in on Sunday mornings than I was to be in worship. Though there are aspects of myself that like being around church-speak and bureaucracy, I'm consistently reminded of my calling to be coyote to the church and stay on the edges, not the center. I'm more than certain that the North American version of Christianity stands on the precipice of something new, yet feel as though we are being held back by something.

So this is where I find myself: I no longer feel compelled to preserve a dying institution yet at the same time, I'm not entirely comfortable walking away from it.

So where does that leave me? Stuck in the middle?
No, I'm sensing that we are on the edge of a major reform in the North American Church and this new paradigm will catapult us into the next stage of our story. After all, it's what Jesus essentially does as he reforms the Jewish faith into something new. Part of how that fleshes itself out for me will be faith's reclamation of more of an Ecological perspective when it comes to living out our discipleship. It's preciously why I shifted the emphasis of the blog. I want disciples of Jesus to know each other by the grass-stains and dirty clothes from having been in God's creation, tending to and protecting that which we were commanded to do in the Genesis story. Reclaiming Eden if you will. I also sense that my calling to just how I invite others into that process is about to shift as well.

So perhaps it's better not to think of it as walking away from something, rather we are now walking towards something else. I for one am excited to see how this unfolds, although I have a sense that it will not entirely come to fruition in my lifetime... so it'why I'm raising my children to pay attention to it as well.

All Too Familiar Story

Really appreciated this presentation of Joseph Campbell's Hero Journey that we're beginning to rediscover in my men's cohort group. I wonder if there's a way that it fits onto the Eco-Wheel or whether it is itself a stand-alone model. I'll have to play with it a bit and see if there are some recurring themes and patterns that might lend themselves to this story....

I'm In

I just participated in my first Mankind Project experience.

I'm a part of their 3 Week online community called The Men's Work. And I've got to say that I'm looking forward to the next few weeks as I believe I am setting myself up for participating in either MKP's New Warrior Training Weekend Adventure or in Richard Rohr's MROP Weekend.

Since the days of my college men's group, I've long thought participating in a more intensive rite of passage/training would be in my future. I just didn't know when... I now know that the time is coming for me to undertake this aspect/adventure of my life as I did nearly a decade ago with Wilderness Awareness School.

I've been writing a bit along these lines and look to do so in the very near future as I process the work I'm engaging in with MKP.

Is Relevance Good?

I've been thinking a lot about the church's attempt to be 'relevant' in the culture today and then this video popped up in my Facebook feed this morning:

I'll come back to the topic in a day or so but wanted to share this and get some responses. A reminder that this commentary comes from someone who is a part of the Bruderhof Community and thus their unique Anabaptist flavor on the subject is quite evident. My response will address the 'relevance' within the Eco-Discipleship lens.

FYI: It's only taken me 13+ years to reach 400 posts...

Confession is a Plow

Twenty years ago, I said yes to God's call on my life to begin pursuing ministry. It was the summer of my senior year of high school when I attended National Youth Conference '98 and the encounters I had with the Holy One forever changed the course of my life's direction. 

This summer, I had the privilege of returning to NYC '18 at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, CO as the district youth adviser for the Michigan District Church of the Brethren. I also had other responsibilities as I was leading 4 different workshops for youth and advisers. All that I needed to do was be present to the Spirit's leading for the week and engage some pretty amazing folks in the denomination about what's ahead for the Brethren. I had no expectations this time around as I knew my role was to be a supportive mentor for the youth in our district.

But... Something did happen...

During one of the messages, the speaker invited anyone who might be ready to engage in the important work of reconciliation and service to the world (in the way Brethren always have) to share with others around them in a time of confession of our brokenness. I was with 4 other individuals who expressed the same lament as myself: that as leaders in the church, we've grown tired of being with folks who don't share the same theology as we might. This has led us to no longer like (or love) one another anymore.

Has it become easier in our world today to practice the golden rule with people who don't profess Christ than with our own Christian brothers and sisters? Perhaps so.

Has the North American political mindset so infiltrated the body of Christ, that we now see the "others" in the church almost as enemies? I'd hope not but, looking around, it kind of feels that way.

My confession of brokenness felt so heavy, I almost couldn't share it. As much as I seek to balance the conversation when among various theological or political perspectives, I still hold on to my biases and my own inadvertent sin of seeing others as 'them' and not 'us'. I'm an optimist in life yet when it comes to the church I become Mr. Hyde.

What happened that night was me confessing that I need to be made whole again, so that I might have fruitful relationships with all my brothers and sisters in Christ. My acknowledgment of the "sickness" means that I am now walking the path towards healing and my brokenness is in the process of being made whole. I know there are plenty of others in the church who feel the same way. How might we heal the wounds and become whole again?

I suppose confession is like a plow that tills up the soil of our soul.
Nothing new can grow there if the soil isn't disturbed.

Seeds cannot be planted if there's no furrow.
Instead of being absorbed, water will flood the soil and destroy any chance of sprouting. 

I for one am tired of living this way and I can no longer pretend that it's alright to behave this way.

We need to furrow the landscapes of our soul once in a while...

The Essence of Eco-Discipleship

Something isn’t quite right. 

There’s an innate sense that something’s been lost. The pace of modern life is sapping the life from us. We live in the illusion that we’re more connected than ever. Sadly, we are more detached than ever; from one another, from our food, from creation, from our Creator. 

As a result, life has become fragmented.

Jesus provides us with a way from fragmentation to abundant life. His teachings often made a point by drawing on the natural world around him. He knew God’s wisdom came from these encounters and sought them out intentionally. He sought the solace of the wilderness, the sea, the mountain, and the garden to regenerate his ministry and mission. Jesus was drawing on a blueprint as old as creation itself. 

We are beginning to understand how living attuned with God’s creation is now essential to our discipleship in Jesus. It encompasses everything from our worship to our work.

This is the essence of eco-discipleship. *taken from the Cultivating a Verdant Faith: An Eco-Discipleship Encounter Weekend brochure description that myself and a fellow colleague are offering beginning Spring 2019.

Lifesong Changes and Blog Updates

I've been blogging somewhat consistently since 2005 and in that time the title of the blog has shifted a few times from A Liminal Space to Quest for Abundant Life to Sacred Fire to LectioTeva. I didn't want to just create an entirely new blog. I wanted to keep the history of this blog and the very thought-provoking posts I made in the past that will likely serve as catalyst for future material.

I'm currently in the process of making more changes and renaming the blog something that speaks to more of my lifesong at 38 than it did at 25. I've got a few ideas and will be crowd-sourcing them in the coming days. So stay tuned.