Twenty years ago, I said yes to God's call on my life to begin pursuing ministry. It was the summer of my senior year of high school when I attended National Youth Conference '98 and the encounters I had with the Holy One forever changed the course of my life's direction.
This summer, I had the privilege of returning to
NYC '18 at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, CO as the district youth adviser for the Michigan District Church of the Brethren. I also had other responsibilities as I was leading 4 different workshops for youth and advisers. All that I needed to do was be present to the Spirit's leading for the week and engage some pretty amazing folks in the denomination about what's ahead for the Brethren. I had no expectations this time around as I knew my role was to be a supportive mentor for the youth in our district.
But... Something did happen...
During one of the messages, the speaker invited anyone who might be ready to engage in the important work of reconciliation and service to the world (in the way Brethren always have) to share with others around them in a time of confession of our brokenness. I was with 4 other individuals who expressed the same lament as myself: that as leaders in the church, we've grown tired of being with folks who don't share the same theology as we might. This has led us to no longer like (or love) one another anymore.
Has it become easier in our world today to practice the golden rule with people who don't profess Christ than with our own Christian brothers and sisters? Perhaps so.
Has the North American political mindset so infiltrated the body of Christ, that we now see the "others" in the church almost as enemies? I'd hope not but, looking around, it kind of feels that way.
My confession of brokenness felt so heavy, I almost couldn't share it. As much as I seek to balance the conversation when among various theological or political perspectives, I still hold on to my biases and my own inadvertent sin of seeing others as 'them' and not 'us'. I'm an optimist in life yet when it comes to the church I become Mr. Hyde.
What happened that night was me confessing that I need to be made whole again, so that I might have fruitful relationships with all my brothers and sisters in Christ. My acknowledgment of the "sickness" means that I am now walking the path towards healing and my brokenness is in the process of being made whole. I know there are plenty of others in the church who feel the same way. How might we heal the wounds and become whole again?
I suppose confession is like a plow that tills up the soil of our soul.
Nothing new can grow there if the soil isn't disturbed.
Seeds cannot be planted if there's no furrow.
Instead of being absorbed, water will flood the soil and destroy any chance of sprouting.
I for one am tired of living this way and I can no longer pretend that it's alright to behave this way.
We need to furrow the landscapes of our soul once in a while...
