Chrysalis Time

Last fall, I spoke to youth about what living a resurrection life would look like. I used the chrysalis stage of the caterpillar/butterfly’s life as the metaphor to frame the conversation around the kind of spiritual initiation that we must undergo in order to see ourselves, the church and societal systems transformed. As a disciple of Christ, the language that I use is resurrection. When we embody a ‘resurrection life’ we cultivate things like repentance, release, regeneration, and reconciliation. All of which produces an anxiety as they break with the norms of our culture. That’s what it feels when you’re faced with the prospect of entering a cocoon… or having to stay at home… or practice social distancing.

The covid19 crisis appears to be initiating a great ‘slowing’ in our lives. For many of us, this is unprecedented. It is as though humanity is being asked to enter a cocoon phase where the mysterious and magical process of chrysalis is beginning to take shape.

And they are affecting us relationally, environmentally and spiritually. 

To resist this process, or to simply reform it, will only continue to put us on a path towards destruction. Resurrection and chrysalis mean that the old way of being will die so that something new will emerge. The delivery systems that got us to this point most likely will no longer work if we are to emerge from this time. In America that’s things like colonial mindset, systems of oppression, capitalism and nationalism. The shadow form of resurrection is regression.

So as we are feeling confined for a time to a space. 
May we tend to the space in a way that allows for more grace.
It is a threshold space and time where something new very well will emerge…
In the waiting, may we be patient and hopeful.

Reimagining

I've been writing a lot over the past 5-10 years and I've been mostly keeping it to myself. Why? Perhaps for that book that keeps getting put off. In this age of open source sharing, it's becoming more important that we share the seeds and fruits we've been given. So I will make more of a conscious effort to put out thoughts, meditations, poetry, and songs that have been stirring in my soul these past few years. It will hopefully serve as a tangible reminder of my life for my children and future generations.

As my life work and emphasis has shifted over those 15 years, I'm reimagining what this space will be. My life's work now seems to be that of a ministry of way-making. It manifests itself in nature connection, Christian discipleship, soul initiation practices and creative writing. As I pay attention to that shift, I realize that it's time to hone in on content and refresh the space. The name of the blog has evolved over time to reflect the phases of my life and this recent incarnation is no different.

I renamed the blog Our Numinous Nature.
It's ambiguity is what I most like about it. We often have numinous/mystical/spiritual experiences in nature but it's also in our nature to seek out numinous experiences. So it applies to both our human nature and the natural world. I believe that is the work of God's Spirit.

It also has a thread that runs through my calling and vocation with outdoor ministry, deep nature connection, Eco-Wheel work, soul initiation and grief work. As one who is rooted in an Anabaptist understanding of faith, my writing will be deeply influenced by that perspective. It is out of my numinous experiences with God's creation and God's community that I want to speak to a world that is rediscovering its longing for what I've come to call the echoes of Eden.

In loving memory of Hanna Sue

The time of my "John the Baptist" metamorphosis drawing nigh. 

I can't share too much of what that means right now but I'm hoping that in the coming months, I will be living into it and will post here what that means for me.

For those who do know, the catalyst for this journey is a promise I made to my infant daughter last week just before she skipped into the heavenly realm. I will honor in all that I say and do from here on out. Grief work will be a big part of my transformation. Keep me in your prayers.

Not preserving, yet not walking away...

So I've been on quite a journey these past few years...

What I mean by that is that I've been on quite a spiritual journey. Over two years ago, I really began reconnecting with my spiritual roots as a Radical Pietist and Anabaptist. So much that the Spirit began convicting me of what it meant to reclaim those roots. I began a process of simplifying and minimizing many aspects of my life. This was a refashioning of my Old German Baptist Brethren roots and identity as I sought to reflect the plain dress as well as back to earth mentality of my daily living and theology. Think Amish with more earth tones and primitive clothing. Now don't let the exterior fool you, I'd be more than at home in a plain community, yet it's my being a mystic that keeps me from ever laying down my roots there.

Yet at the same time, my sense of spiritual grounded-ness felt as though it was losing some of its foot-holding. By that, I mean that I was increasingly becoming more put off by the institutional aspect of the church and I noticed I became increasingly more comfortable to sleep in on Sunday mornings than I was to be in worship. Though there are aspects of myself that like being around church-speak and bureaucracy, I'm consistently reminded of my calling to be coyote to the church and stay on the edges, not the center. I'm more than certain that the North American version of Christianity stands on the precipice of something new, yet feel as though we are being held back by something.

So this is where I find myself: I no longer feel compelled to preserve a dying institution yet at the same time, I'm not entirely comfortable walking away from it.

So where does that leave me? Stuck in the middle?
No, I'm sensing that we are on the edge of a major reform in the North American Church and this new paradigm will catapult us into the next stage of our story. After all, it's what Jesus essentially does as he reforms the Jewish faith into something new. Part of how that fleshes itself out for me will be faith's reclamation of more of an Ecological perspective when it comes to living out our discipleship. It's preciously why I shifted the emphasis of the blog. I want disciples of Jesus to know each other by the grass-stains and dirty clothes from having been in God's creation, tending to and protecting that which we were commanded to do in the Genesis story. Reclaiming Eden if you will. I also sense that my calling to just how I invite others into that process is about to shift as well.

So perhaps it's better not to think of it as walking away from something, rather we are now walking towards something else. I for one am excited to see how this unfolds, although I have a sense that it will not entirely come to fruition in my lifetime... so it'why I'm raising my children to pay attention to it as well.