I know ... no I don't

I find myself saying a lot these days "I know" which really might be because I am back on campus and being away for sometime tends to provoke that in the wayward sojourner. So much of my life is extracted from the things that I claim to see. The truth be told, I am seeing the world as I am, not from reality. And if prayer is as Evelyn Underhill states "turning to reality", then maybe I could see much better by closing my eyes. In reading the John 9 story maybe we can begin to "get this". I say "I see" and "I know", so my sin (or whatever word best describes your "falling out") remains.

Maybe this whole journey of faith really is about "not knowing", isn't that precisely what faith is? To have a beginner's mind (see Luke 18:17) as the Zen Buddhists would say, means that we can never really claim to know anything and the moment that we do... we become dangerous. Something that you could find in both spectrums of the liberal/conservative divide. I'm not advocating any kind of genuine idiocricy (though if you look up the word "idiot" in its original Greek meaning you would find that it is a man who has not held together the masculine & feminine aspects of his soul), but there is something to be said of people who can continually run the gambit of saying even though I may claim to know this, what is it teaching me or asking of me?

I believe our Western minds has not created any real room for possibility that we don't know. I understand this especially since I am a Type 5 personality in the Enneagram. Which means I am a "Perceiver" and the source of my greatest strength and weakness is attaining knowledge. I soak up as much information and knowledge as I can in hopes that it will take me somewhere. It will eventually, in America, take me somewhere, however that somewhere my not be where my soul really finds rest. If we can only begin to learn or un-learn that we really don't have it all figured out then I believe that grace can really be present in our lives and as we become present for others.