The Need for Elders

This past weekend Brenda and I had an opportunity to spend some time with one of her old professors from college as well as the prof's husband, 17 lb. cat and two Siberian Huskies. We have been blessed to get to spend time with them (especially since we only see them twice a year), but this time was different.

Aside from the typical intellectual conversation that happens around a wonderful lunch, I began to have this sense that I was relating to them in a way that I had not previously. Any other time we got together I viewed them more as Brendas friends than mine.

Yet here I found myself after nearly 5 hours of visiting; connecting with Ed (the husband, who also has a Ph.D.) on a completely different level than before. Here is a man who was raised Jewish yet identifies himself more as a Unitarian. He shared with me stories of when he was living in Arizona, how he did a week-long Vision Quest to be initiated into the Hopi tradition and is the only Caucasian to have ever been allowed to join the Bear clan (a prominent group of Hopi that live on a pueblo in the shadow of the Navajo Mountain). How his border collie once saved his life one night when he was in the desert as it protected him from a coyote. Not only did the dog protect him, but it killed the coyote. We talked religion, politics, interspecies communication, string theory and how it all interweaves into our life journey. Even though he teaches Macroeconomics at a local college his deep sense of spirit, intellect and intention transcends his profession. It was almost as if I was sitting at the feet of the Elder that I never had. I know that I will make more of an attempt to spend time with him in the future. We share a lot of the same interests and I feel as though when we converse we are equals (even though I regard him more as an Elder). I could go on and on but I am still in awe and need days to really process all this.

Maybe that is what I have been missing. I have had many mentors and still do. But I have not had a lot of Elders. By that I mean a man who has been wounded and rather than transmitting the wound to others he allows it to transform him for the sake of himself and others around him. I mean a man who carries in his being the essence of life: adventure, purpose and wisdom. A man who holds in tension the masculine and the feminine.

When we got in the car to head back home Sunday afternoon, I told Brenda that if God should be gracious and give me as many years to live as Ed (guesstimating that he is around 70) I want my life to resemble his. Full of adventure, grace, discovery and wisdom.