Point of no Return

(A prayer of confession, written 4/13/07)

Risen Christ,

You expect the whole of my life,
And yet all I have given are mere crumbs.

You are praying within me day and night,
But I set aside 30 minutes for devotions.

You are the source of living water,
But I prefer to dig cracked cisterns.

Tirelessly You were seeking me,
All the while, I sought You only when I was weary and tired.

You give me strength to rise beyond my past,
Once my hand is on the plow, I preferred to look back.

You have placed on my finger the ring of the prodigal son,
And I know there's a vast pasture that holds herds of fatted calves
for every time I've crawled home.

You ask me to commit myself to the point of no return,
Yet somehow, it remains a threshold I am unwilling to cross.

Forgive me.
Heal me.
Strengthen me.
Open me.
Receive me.