After looking over the past few posts, I've come to the conclusion that maybe I have been keeping myself too open for possibilities. I've been so open that I have not been able to focus in and really work towards one thing for fear that I might be shutting out other possibilities.
So today I am staking my claim and focusing my efforts more on my knowledge and further developing my wilderness living skills & outdoor education.
I hope that by focusing my attention on the possibilities that present themselves right now I can get a better sense of direction for my life's vocation.
November 19, 2008
November 17, 2008
Old or New Paradigm? Or Both?
Thinking more about the new paradigm that I mentioned briefly in my previous post.
I was flipping back through some of my older "emergent" books recently and trying to get more of an idea of where I am in the midst of this whole modern/postmodern debate. It's important to note that the "new paradigm" isn't necessarily postmodernism but has elements of both periods.
I'll list the nutrients that are found in their respective "soils" that are the foundations for both Modern and Postmodern then list where I fall in relation to the soils. (Taken from Dan Kimball's book "The Emerging Church" pg. 61)
Modern Soil: monotheism, rational, religion, propositional, systemic, local, individualistic, truth
Postmodern Soil: pluralism, experiential, mystical, narrative, fluid, global, communal/tribal, preference
My Soil: monotheism, experiential, mystical, narrative, fluid, local, communal/tribal, truth
I am approximately 2/3 postmodern and 1/3 modern. I'll expound a bit on why I am where I am. Growing up, my experience was profoundly rooted in a monotheistic tradition and though I am accepting of a pluralistic thought I find that my rooted-ness comes back to a simple understanding of a trinitarian God. I place a greater emphasis on the experiential methods of learning and find that it offers me more insight than a rational/logical approach. If there was ever a category that I feel most "at home" it would be that of a mystic! Narratives, anecdotes and storytelling makes things more palatable for me. I despise the systemic "whole is greater than the sum of its parts" thought. I believe that often the sums of its parts must have fluidity to make the argument of the "whole" even a possibility. The next nutrient of local/global really depends more on where I am at the present. I consider my thought to be more of a hybrid "glocal" but still focusing more on the good of the local community/tribe. I break with most post moderns as it relates to truth because I still believe in absolute and knowable truth.
Another term that has been used is ancient future and I would say that I am somewhere to be found in that term as well. Again, I have to ask myself if my place is still in the church. Honestly, if it wasn't for that 1/3 of modern thought still apart of who I am, I'd have probably left the church altogether. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for people ten years younger than me that have grown up in a predominate post-modern way of thinking.
Hope this gives some insight when I speak of the new paradigm that we are stepping into but not there yet. We are in a liminal space.
I was flipping back through some of my older "emergent" books recently and trying to get more of an idea of where I am in the midst of this whole modern/postmodern debate. It's important to note that the "new paradigm" isn't necessarily postmodernism but has elements of both periods.
I'll list the nutrients that are found in their respective "soils" that are the foundations for both Modern and Postmodern then list where I fall in relation to the soils. (Taken from Dan Kimball's book "The Emerging Church" pg. 61)
Modern Soil: monotheism, rational, religion, propositional, systemic, local, individualistic, truth
Postmodern Soil: pluralism, experiential, mystical, narrative, fluid, global, communal/tribal, preference
My Soil: monotheism, experiential, mystical, narrative, fluid, local, communal/tribal, truth
I am approximately 2/3 postmodern and 1/3 modern. I'll expound a bit on why I am where I am. Growing up, my experience was profoundly rooted in a monotheistic tradition and though I am accepting of a pluralistic thought I find that my rooted-ness comes back to a simple understanding of a trinitarian God. I place a greater emphasis on the experiential methods of learning and find that it offers me more insight than a rational/logical approach. If there was ever a category that I feel most "at home" it would be that of a mystic! Narratives, anecdotes and storytelling makes things more palatable for me. I despise the systemic "whole is greater than the sum of its parts" thought. I believe that often the sums of its parts must have fluidity to make the argument of the "whole" even a possibility. The next nutrient of local/global really depends more on where I am at the present. I consider my thought to be more of a hybrid "glocal" but still focusing more on the good of the local community/tribe. I break with most post moderns as it relates to truth because I still believe in absolute and knowable truth.
Another term that has been used is ancient future and I would say that I am somewhere to be found in that term as well. Again, I have to ask myself if my place is still in the church. Honestly, if it wasn't for that 1/3 of modern thought still apart of who I am, I'd have probably left the church altogether. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for people ten years younger than me that have grown up in a predominate post-modern way of thinking.
Hope this gives some insight when I speak of the new paradigm that we are stepping into but not there yet. We are in a liminal space.
November 11, 2008
Wondering
For as much as I believe that I am called to be in the church (vocationally); I sometimes wonder if the church is really the best place for me? Two instances this past weekend that made me ponder these very things.
First, I spent a total of 4 hours on the road with another Brethren pastor who I had never met until I showed up at his church to catch a ride. We did as expected, spent most of our time talking about the state of the church as it related to our experiences. I've often wondered if people really get me because I am a pretty deep guy and have thought more than a time or two that people have just been tolerating me and my views because they don't want to discourage a young adult from ministry. I've even wondered if this was the reason my home church would keep re-licensing me to ministry, even if I was not representative of who they are. So I was elated to spend time with another pastor who in essence "got me" and shared our common experiences. I got to district conference feeling pretty good like "hey I just might fit in here."
Second. For the majority of the time that I was at conference, I sat in on business sessions and reports. There was one item of business that was pretty divisive among delegates and discussion for and against the lasted for nearly an hour. For the first time ever, I stood up to share on the item at hand. I quoted God's response to Job as a way of presenting (a prophetic?) an ambiguous argument for both sides of the issue. What I got was the sound of crickets and some heads shaking a visible "no." I sat down wondering if I had made the wisest choice... after all I usually don't make a statement in that environment unless I sense the Holy Spirit was encouraging me to do so. Then I started thinking... why did I make that statement? This was my first introduction into the district after all. Did I make it to be liked? Or did I make it to speak truth? I'm not entirely certain and only time will tell on that one.
It got me thinking though. I see the North American Church as clinging to the old paradigm and patterns of doing things. This way is failing and I cannot understand why the church insists on doing it this way. My other thought was "Am I still operating out of the old paradigm as well?" My sense is a strong NO. As I reflected back on the situation, my words may have been decidedly in a new paradigm way of thinking and that is why I got the response that I did. So I ask the question again, In my attempt to get people thinking in a new way am I being misunderstood? Maybe.
Is my vocational life best suited to be in the church or with one foot in and the other out (i.e. outdoor ministry, wilderness living education)? I've mentioned before that in some ways I feel like John the Baptist, returning to the church after having spent ( literally and metaphorically) time in the wilderness and bringing back to the church what the wilderness experience taught me.
This is part of the intentional discernment process that I am now in. Keep me in your prayers that this time of discernment would be fruitful.
First, I spent a total of 4 hours on the road with another Brethren pastor who I had never met until I showed up at his church to catch a ride. We did as expected, spent most of our time talking about the state of the church as it related to our experiences. I've often wondered if people really get me because I am a pretty deep guy and have thought more than a time or two that people have just been tolerating me and my views because they don't want to discourage a young adult from ministry. I've even wondered if this was the reason my home church would keep re-licensing me to ministry, even if I was not representative of who they are. So I was elated to spend time with another pastor who in essence "got me" and shared our common experiences. I got to district conference feeling pretty good like "hey I just might fit in here."
Second. For the majority of the time that I was at conference, I sat in on business sessions and reports. There was one item of business that was pretty divisive among delegates and discussion for and against the lasted for nearly an hour. For the first time ever, I stood up to share on the item at hand. I quoted God's response to Job as a way of presenting (a prophetic?) an ambiguous argument for both sides of the issue. What I got was the sound of crickets and some heads shaking a visible "no." I sat down wondering if I had made the wisest choice... after all I usually don't make a statement in that environment unless I sense the Holy Spirit was encouraging me to do so. Then I started thinking... why did I make that statement? This was my first introduction into the district after all. Did I make it to be liked? Or did I make it to speak truth? I'm not entirely certain and only time will tell on that one.
It got me thinking though. I see the North American Church as clinging to the old paradigm and patterns of doing things. This way is failing and I cannot understand why the church insists on doing it this way. My other thought was "Am I still operating out of the old paradigm as well?" My sense is a strong NO. As I reflected back on the situation, my words may have been decidedly in a new paradigm way of thinking and that is why I got the response that I did. So I ask the question again, In my attempt to get people thinking in a new way am I being misunderstood? Maybe.
Is my vocational life best suited to be in the church or with one foot in and the other out (i.e. outdoor ministry, wilderness living education)? I've mentioned before that in some ways I feel like John the Baptist, returning to the church after having spent ( literally and metaphorically) time in the wilderness and bringing back to the church what the wilderness experience taught me.
This is part of the intentional discernment process that I am now in. Keep me in your prayers that this time of discernment would be fruitful.
November 05, 2008
Believe Again
Last night was the start of something new in my life. What was it?
Hope.
Until last night it was just another word thrown around in a political campaign, and honestly I'd become a little skeptical of that emotion. Today it has become embodied in my spirit. I feel like for the first time in my adult life I am able to really hope for a better tomorrow. That is something that I have not had in my 20's, which is supposed to be the most exciting time of your life. It hasn't been for me. I have had some amazing things happen to me along the way (most importantly a loving, supportive wife) and if it hadn't been for their intercessions, who knows where I'd be today.
My life had become a semblance of what the Architect in Matrix: Reloaded stated:
Now it is different. It feels different. This isn't about political parties, it's about believing in yourself and your country again. Honestly for the last 8 years, I have been ashamed of my country and didn't support it like I should have. But I am beginning to believe in the possibility of a new day for America.
I haven't felt like this in a long time and I pray that this good energy would spill out into all the other avenues of my life as well. I don't acknowledge what happened last night exclusively in a secular light, I know there are spiritual implications as well. And for that I am excited about what tomorrow holds.
Hope.
Until last night it was just another word thrown around in a political campaign, and honestly I'd become a little skeptical of that emotion. Today it has become embodied in my spirit. I feel like for the first time in my adult life I am able to really hope for a better tomorrow. That is something that I have not had in my 20's, which is supposed to be the most exciting time of your life. It hasn't been for me. I have had some amazing things happen to me along the way (most importantly a loving, supportive wife) and if it hadn't been for their intercessions, who knows where I'd be today.
My life had become a semblance of what the Architect in Matrix: Reloaded stated:
"Hope, the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness."Hope, as it seemed in my life was more of a weakness than a strength.
Now it is different. It feels different. This isn't about political parties, it's about believing in yourself and your country again. Honestly for the last 8 years, I have been ashamed of my country and didn't support it like I should have. But I am beginning to believe in the possibility of a new day for America.
I haven't felt like this in a long time and I pray that this good energy would spill out into all the other avenues of my life as well. I don't acknowledge what happened last night exclusively in a secular light, I know there are spiritual implications as well. And for that I am excited about what tomorrow holds.